The Candle that Burns
by Kristinawitter
Summary: 1/1. Pretty dark story. R & R


Pretty dark, sorrrrryy

We had raised a beautiful family. Our little Jessica Witter, a bouncing 4 month old baby daughter, with my hair, stubborn features, and rosy lips. But those eyes, they were all Pacey's. We were so lucky. Jake Witter, a 2 year old clone of Pacey. He was a daddy's boy, and Pacey spent every spare moment he had with our children. He loved them, even more than he loved me. He was a perfect husband , and father. Laughs could be heard through our house. The walls vibrated from happy chuckles, and ecstatic tears of joy. I used to come home from work, and find them either completely destroying the house, or sat cuddled on the sofa together watching a Disney movie. To be honest, either completely melted my heart.

Now? There's no laughter. No tears of joy. Darkness takes over the rooms, creeping up on every corner of every inch of our house. Why? Because I killed our son.

It had been a busy month at work. I was tired, constantly editing books with demanding deadlines. Jessica was with Bessie, and Jake was at a kids club, as Pacey was working.

'_Joey, can you pick up Jake tonight? I'm slammed at work and I just don't think I can make it on time._' I rolled my eyes at my husband's excuse. I'd been at work all day, and I was exhausted. I just wanted to get home, and literally roll into bed. I uneasily agreed, and made my way home, on route picking up Jake.

I remember driving . I remember picking Jake up. I remember feeling warm inside our car. I remember started to feel tired. I remember nothing,

The aftermath hit me like a ton of bricks. I fell asleep at the wheel. Crashed the car into a lorry, why was I still alive? God knows. Pacey wouldn't even look at me. I couldn't look at myself. My gorgeous baby boy, was taken from us. And it was all my fault.

It took us a long time to get a glimpse of normal life. But Pacey stayed distant. Associated himself with me when he had to, but his smile, was all fake. He had lost his son. Why would he want to talk to me? The woman that killed him.

Then it all, really started to come crashing down. Tonight at Bessie's, Jessica was in bed, sleeping soundly in her cot, not realising how her parent's lives were spiralling out of control. I was always just in a daze. But tonight? I tried to snap out of it. I wanted my life back. I wanted my husband back. Surely one day, he would forgive me.

'_So, I've decided that I'd like to write a book in memory of Jake... I want to be able to look back and read all the memories we had together, and not forget any of them. If I make a book out of it, I can look back and smile at the great times, rather than being old and breaking my heart because I can't remember them.' Pacey snorted from the other side of the table. 'What Pacey?'_

'_Break your heart? You broke mine when you crashed the car.' Utter silence. Forks and mouths dropped._

'_Pacey...I..'_

'_No Jo, I can't do this killed OUR son. You fell asleep at the wheel! This is all your fault! You killed him! You! I wish that you were DEAD instead of HIM. Now I can't even look at you! And now you want to make a book to make yourself happy again? I will NEVER be happy again because of what you did.'_

I ran. And ran. And Ran. Where was I going? It lead me to here. I stare at myself in the mirror. What have I done? A small smile creeps over my face when my vision starts to darken, and I know, that soon, I will have my baby boy in my arms again.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

'Joey? Jo? Where are you?', shouted Pacey, when he was home. He regretted the words as soon as they came out his mouth, and wanted to try and explain himself to her. Where the hell was she?

He walked into the kitchen, and saw a note on the side. He took it in his hand, and read what it said ;

_I'm so very sorry._

Pacey's legs had never moved faster. He was up the stairs in a shot, and kicked down the bathroom door. The remaining light in his eyes disappeared completely when he saw Joey, on the floor, her wrists covered in blood, her arm extended with an empty bottle of pills. He took one look at her face, and knew she was gone.

For Pacey, he had lost the other great love in his life. All because of what he said. He knew she was in a deep depression since Jake had died, but so had he.

For what he said, wasn't true. He never blamed Joey. He blamed himself. Blamed himself for calling to selfishly ask her to pick Jake up when he knew she was exhausted. He would never forgive himself for killing his son. It was all his fault.

And now, the candle in his heart which was burning with nothing but love, had finally extinguished.

Not even his daughter could save him now.


End file.
